Things NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman
Posted by Jenna at 9:14 AM
The other day someone did something that, although funny, reminded me of all the tactless things people said while I was pregnant. I am still breastfeeding my 5 month old and took him to his grandpa's work to run an errand. While there, a woman I have never met before spilled a liquid on the breast-region of her shirt and explained "Look, I'm you! I'm still breastfeeding!". Totally tactless, but alas, not anywhere near as bad as the words I'm about to share!
1. Random Strangers: "You're HUGE!" Thanks, I was just about to say the same thing about you, asshole.
2. Woman on the Street: "It's a girl, because you're carrying all your weight in your face." She said this with a straight face, I'm not lying.
3. My husband Dave: "Where's my carton of ice cream I bought yesterday? Did you eat ALL of it?" Take one guess and just one step closer buddy.
4. Woman at family party: " Was the baby planned?" Umm, no actually. So, we plan to love him a little less and discipline him a little more. Mind your business for Christ sake!
5. My husband Dave: " Do you feel like an orgasm or a foot massage?" Foot massage, hands down, every time! Don't ask that question again.
6. My husband's Friend: "Is sex better when you're pregnant?" That depends, champ, on whether you were even any good at it in the first place.
7. My husband Dave: " I've checked out pregnant porn. It doesn't do anything for me." Again, thanks honey. I'll take that foot massage now then.
8. Drunk woman on the street. "Can I rub your belly for good luck? I'm trying to get pregnant." Wow. Perhaps you should be checking into rehab instead. But if you think rubbing my belly will help, then I probably won't worry too much about you then.
9. Old Lady at Christmas party: "It is so nice you're having a Christmas baby!" Um, yes. But I'm due in April.
10. Friend in the movie store: "Oh, let me see if you're having a boy or girl." She turns me around and lifts up the tent I'm wearing to look at my butt. "Oh, defiantly gotten waaayy bigger. You're having a girl!" It doesn't get any better than this, because I was having a boy. Thanks Liza! I still love you.
So, next time you encounter a pregnant woman, please just lie to us. Lie through your teeth, we don't care. Tell us we're glowing, and have barely gained any weight, thank you. I'm sure there are a lot more pregnant faux pas out there (enough to show me through a second pregnancy!) Please share in the comments some stupid this people have said to you all while pregnant... Here is the button for Jenna who wrote this post!