Monday

My marriage...................

I have been very depressed about my husband for a while now and I guess it is time to hold my chin up and figure out just what I am going to do. This afternoon I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and start thinking of my child. I am still sad, but I know I am a strong person who will be able to handle it. I actually feel better since I have realized Matt wants out of the marriage and I am done trying to hold on to something that isn't going to last and is making us both unhappy. And it is effecting our son, and he is the most important person in the world and we need to think of him first.

Now I need to figure out what the next step is going to be. I haven't a clue other then it will be one that is going to change our lives and hopefully for the better. I so love being married and being a family, but I also love being happy and seeing us all happy.

Through all of this I still cannot find it in me to hate or even really dislike Matt. I know he was been through a lot in his life and is depressed. I hope one day he will find the one thing that will make he happy. It doesn't make me proud to know that I am not that one thing, but I hope we will be able to stay friendly for our child. Adam is a wonderful little boy who loves everyone and he doesn't need both of his parents acting like children.

46 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry you're going through this, especially at this time of the year. You CAN BE STRONG. Trust me, years ago I was in a similar situation and the hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away from my marriage. I had three little ones to think about and they were my priority. Walking around like we were walking on eggshells every.single.day was totally unhealthy for my kiddos and myself. I knew that I had to be the strong one for the children. I know it's a difficult thing to do, but YOU CAN DO IT. You should be very proud of yourself that you're thinking about your son above yourself or that of your husband!! Good luck to you!

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  2. My prayers are with you! (((Hugs)))

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. I've been through it and it does get easier. Just hug your little boy (who, btw, has an awesome name..my son is Adam, too). His love will help you get through all of the hard times :)

    I'm visiting from FFF @ MBC, and I am now a new follower of your blog.

    I hope you have a wonderful week :) Just look at your son...he will make you smile :)

    ~Shelley

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  4. That is a tough situation. Be strong...I've been married for 8 years and some years are better than others. Thinking of you...

    Visiting from FFF @ MBC.

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  5. Hugs to you!!!

    Visting from MBC and following you!!!

    I pray for peace for you and your family!

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  6. I wish the best for you girl! This can't be easy. Just know we are thinking of you!

    xoxoxMelyssa

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  7. You really have a good attitude about this. If your not happy in a marriage then there is no point in suffering and staying in it. This experience will make you stronger. I am now following your blog from FFF on MBC :) Good Luck to you!

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  8. (((HUGS)))

    You're really handing this like a mother and a woman. Keep your chin up, hon!!!
    Following from MBC!

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  9. Your little boy'll heal your pain.
    be strong!

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  10. Wishing you all the best in 2010! God Bless!

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  11. Good for you for knowing it's his issue and not yours! I'm sure it still hurts though. Have you thought about counselling?

    Big Hugs!

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  12. I hope you got things to work out!

    carole

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  13. ~BIG HUGS~ I hope everything gets better.

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  14. I'm Following you from MBC Simply 50 Club! Nice to meet you:)

    Hope things work out for you...

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  15. Hang in there, you have the right attitude. You will get through this and may find that the whole experience makes you a stronger person in the end.

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  16. Be strong, girl! You have it in you to do what you really want to do.

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  18. Hope things work out for you! Sorry about the previous post.

    Following from MBC-simply 50.

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  19. I hope everything works out. Be strong for son.

    following you from MBC simply 50
    http://luvtosave.blogspot.com/

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  20. Oh hun:( I'm so sorry. When I read this, I actually broke down because I can seriously relate to you. Although I'm not married, my fiancee and I have a 16 month old, and our relationship has deteriorated much to my sadness...I feel for you and just know you're not alone! What your husband has done to you is cowardly and WRONG. Don't stand around and let him do that to you. You are a strong woman: a mother to a precious little guy. As hurtful as it is, don't take it personally. It's not you-it really is him. He's showing you his charachter-and that's not someone you want live and role model for your son. Keep your chin up. Although our situations are a bit different-just know that you have moms in the blosphere who are right behind you! XOXO

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  21. good luck, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers! FOllowing from MBC, come follow me back if you get a chance.

    Diane
    http://turning-the-clock-back.blogspot.com/

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  22. Your so brave to post with such honesty. I, too am stuck in a marriage that we're sticking it out for "the kids". And I don't think that's the best way to deal with this. We're miserable too, we argue, yet he keeps trying to make it work (or I should say, he keeps saying we need to "work it out" yet his way is 'You fix yourself and change what I want, and we'll be fine" Whereas, I want out. It's not working, it's time to face facts - it's the beginning of the end. :(
    I too get the "statistics" of it all. Kids with divorced parents tend to not do as well as those with a 2 parent home. And while that may be true - what effect does misery do to kids? I think thats worse. You'll have to let me know what you come up with because I'm absolutely stumped! Great post!! I'm going to follow you as I think we're on the same wavelength, hence you must have a clue ;)

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  23. Hi, I found your blog via MBC and started following you. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. This post made me cry, my first marriage was so awful, and I blamed myself for such a long time. I'm glad you know it isn't you, it's him. This is such a brave and honest post, I know it couldn't have been easy to write.(((hugs)))
    christie

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  24. Im so sorry, hugs. Just dont blame yourself for what he is going through. I am at a crossroads in my marriage too and its so difficult especially when you have kids. Just know that what ever happens it will all work out.

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  25. I've been through terrible ups and downs with my husband and it isn't easy, especially for the kids. I hope you get everything straightened out! Best of luck!

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  26. Sorry about your marriage =( My prayers are with you ... found you via MBC FFF club .. following

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  27. I am from FFF from the MBC and am now a follower!

    http://stacievaughansblog.blogspot.com

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  28. Oh dear. I am a new follower through MBC. I am so sorry for your struggle. I hope you know that you are not alone. You can't make someone happy no matter how wonderful you are and how much you love them. You can only work to make yourself happy. And your beautiful son. It sounds like you are making brave, if difficult, choices out of love for him. I wish you strength and please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  29. Sorry to hear about your marriage. Following you from MBC!

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  30. Hi there! Just stopping by from MBC-FFF! Great to meet you, I'm your latest follower!

    Happy Wednesday!

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  31. Hang in there! My prayers are with you.
    Following from FFF!
    ~Trista

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  32. i can relate at so many levels..

    hugs and love

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  33. (HUGS) I cannot imagine what you're going through but I hope you find the strength to get through this for your little boy. It may be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do but I hope you come to a decision and you can finally be at peace. =)


    Found you through MBC, new follower.

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  34. I am so sorry to hear about your recent break-up. Glad to hear that you are taking the positive approach now :O)

    My GF just announced to me on Tuesday that she and her husband of 12 yrs have finally separated. She realized she deserves better and so do her kids.

    Best of luck to you :o)

    Stopping by from FFF on MBC, I'm now a follower.
    http://www.mommysonlinegaragesale.com

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  35. I understand you very well. A few years ago our family also went through difficult times. I was in a deep depression, accuses my husband. but one day just to chill out completely and... After several months, our family has once again become happy! It was very difficult, but a thought of my five children, and this helped!
    I started follow your wonderful blog, can you to follow my http://vitaminsėhealthlife.com? What about links exchange?
    And one more a most important- http://tinyurl.com/yfvraod (would you can can to follow it as well?)

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  36. I am sorry- http://vitamins4healthlife.com

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  37. My prayers are with you during this difficult time!

    I found you through MB's Friends Following Friends and am a new follower of your blog.

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  38. My heart goes out to you in these difficult times. I am a new follower from MBC and FFF!

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  39. {{{Hugs to you}}}

    I am a new follower from FFF on MBC.

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  40. I hope you and your son are doing well... I am so sorry you are going through this!

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  41. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this~My prayers are with you and your family and I hope that you do what is right for all of you!

    Stopping by from MBC and now following you!

    deb55106(at)gmail(dot)com

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  42. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm following you from MBC. Keep smiling and I hope that everything works out for you.

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  43. Big Big Hugs!!! , I'm with you. be strong!

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  44. Thank you all for the wonderful post of incoragement! I will be trying to visit and follow you all soon!

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