I have been very depressed about my husband for a while now and I guess it is time to hold my chin up and figure out just what I am going to do. This afternoon I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and start thinking of my child. I am still sad, but I know I am a strong person who will be able to handle it. I actually feel better since I have realized Matt wants out of the marriage and I am done trying to hold on to something that isn't going to last and is making us both unhappy. And it is effecting our son, and he is the most important person in the world and we need to think of him first.
Now I need to figure out what the next step is going to be. I haven't a clue other then it will be one that is going to change our lives and hopefully for the better. I so love being married and being a family, but I also love being happy and seeing us all happy.
Through all of this I still cannot find it in me to hate or even really dislike Matt. I know he was been through a lot in his life and is depressed. I hope one day he will find the one thing that will make he happy. It doesn't make me proud to know that I am not that one thing, but I hope we will be able to stay friendly for our child. Adam is a wonderful little boy who loves everyone and he doesn't need both of his parents acting like children.
Monday
How can I be happy for christmas?
Christmas time ~ my favorite time of the year! sled bells ring, Frosty the snowman and santa. Presents under the tree, tinel everywhere! The holiday season of smiles and cheer, well I don't have it this year.
Instead it lose the wedding ring, ex husband to be and cheaters. Warcraft games and misery everywhere! The holiday season of tears and numbness.
I have to find a way to be happy and make it a time to remember for Adam. I put the tree up and the lights are on. We have some cute snowmen ornaments to put on, but do I unpack them or keep the boxes ready to go.
My husband took the weekend to spend with me and said maybe we can work it out and then when I came home Sunday from work, I was told that he changed his mind and wants to be able to play on the computer longer.
I would love to write a letter to this women from the game, not sure if I would send it but I would feel better. Matt and I have been talking and he doesn't care about my feeling so writing the letter to hiim would be a waist of time.
Has anyone gone there divorce? How did you do? Any advice on how to make it so Adam doesn't feel like it is his fault? Or how to make sure he isn't unhappy. I really want to be able to make the right choices for him and not think about my unhappiness and make the wrong choices. Any and all help ~ I would love.
Instead it lose the wedding ring, ex husband to be and cheaters. Warcraft games and misery everywhere! The holiday season of tears and numbness.
I have to find a way to be happy and make it a time to remember for Adam. I put the tree up and the lights are on. We have some cute snowmen ornaments to put on, but do I unpack them or keep the boxes ready to go.
My husband took the weekend to spend with me and said maybe we can work it out and then when I came home Sunday from work, I was told that he changed his mind and wants to be able to play on the computer longer.
I would love to write a letter to this women from the game, not sure if I would send it but I would feel better. Matt and I have been talking and he doesn't care about my feeling so writing the letter to hiim would be a waist of time.
Has anyone gone there divorce? How did you do? Any advice on how to make it so Adam doesn't feel like it is his fault? Or how to make sure he isn't unhappy. I really want to be able to make the right choices for him and not think about my unhappiness and make the wrong choices. Any and all help ~ I would love.
Tuesday
I am sorry but I won't be on to much because....
My husband has been playing the game war of warcrafts for like a year now and he loves it. within the last couple of months he has been playing with a group of the same people and he is on the thing all night. At first he tells me he will be getting texts from people in the group to let him know when to be on do to runs (whatever runs are?????) so, okay whatever.
Then I went to answer he phone for him because he was busy and didn't get it in time. So, he asked me to look to see who it was (it was his dad) but I noticed a lot of called from someone named Lyndi. I asked who it was and he said someone on the game. I then asked why they were having long conversations on the phone. He said it was only to tell when to play. So, I asked, how long does it take to tell the time and why are you talking on the phone with some women all the time?
Then he says she needs him. They are really good friends and she doesn't have any friends off the game and needs to talk because her husband beats on her. I got pissed and told him that was wrong and he shouldn't be talking with her. And that she should get off the computer go out in the real world and make some friends and get help. Her talking to my husband was going to solve her problems. So, he told her that he wasn't going to talk to her on the phone anymore and that they should just play the game and keep it about the game. (well, this is what he told me he said, and like a big ass I believed him)
A few days later he is talking about the big group getting together to have a convention to play the game together. I don't understand that star trek shit either. He said it's just a bunch of people playing on their computer in the same room as a team against others. So, we will be paying $500.00 or more for him to go to another state to play a game on our computer??????????????
As he is getting stuff organized with the trip that he will be going on at the beginning of February, he say there are only going to be 7 of them and one is that girl. And she was telling him which hotel was the best. If you are talking to her how did you get the information from her I ask?? He said, well we talk sometime, I love talking to her and the way she treats me. What, you don't know her or even what she looks like, heck maybe she isn't even a girl? And he said, oh we talk on the game now with the microphones and she sound like a girl. We argued a little more. sorry out the butt, but is still going and really wants to be able to continue talking with her, she needs him. I said then pack your shit and move in with her and her husband.
Finally, things back to normal, so I thought and then out of the blue last night my husband wants to separate and live in the basement. Tell me all kinds of stuff that is wrong with our relationship and that he isn't good enough for me and just needs to let me go. For hours he went on and on. I had a terrible time sleeps and get up to pay the bills online and my laptop isn't on my desk. I went downstairs and guess what he is talking to that B***H on the computer!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked for the computer and he said he would bring it up to me and he has to finish. I said no, I will wait for him to get done. He said no, I will bring it up I need to finish what I am going on here. I asked are you talking to her. No, no I'm not talking to her, I promise. Just go upstairs and I will be up in a minute to talk to you. I said, you are lieing, give me the computer now! So, I go to get it and he said, hey, I have to go ~ I am log out now and hurried and hit the button before I could see. And I asked again and he said yes, he was talking to her about our problems and she told him to stay with me and work it out because she wasn't leaving her husband. So, then he changing his tune and wants to be a big happy family and for me to forget everything that has happened. I don't think I can.
I am typing this so fast I am sure I left out half of the information, but I am crying to hard to read it over to check. I just don't know what to do and I don't know if I can ever trust him again.
We are both going to take a week off from the computer and see if we can work this out. I am not sure what to do, I am so confused.
Then I went to answer he phone for him because he was busy and didn't get it in time. So, he asked me to look to see who it was (it was his dad) but I noticed a lot of called from someone named Lyndi. I asked who it was and he said someone on the game. I then asked why they were having long conversations on the phone. He said it was only to tell when to play. So, I asked, how long does it take to tell the time and why are you talking on the phone with some women all the time?
Then he says she needs him. They are really good friends and she doesn't have any friends off the game and needs to talk because her husband beats on her. I got pissed and told him that was wrong and he shouldn't be talking with her. And that she should get off the computer go out in the real world and make some friends and get help. Her talking to my husband was going to solve her problems. So, he told her that he wasn't going to talk to her on the phone anymore and that they should just play the game and keep it about the game. (well, this is what he told me he said, and like a big ass I believed him)
A few days later he is talking about the big group getting together to have a convention to play the game together. I don't understand that star trek shit either. He said it's just a bunch of people playing on their computer in the same room as a team against others. So, we will be paying $500.00 or more for him to go to another state to play a game on our computer??????????????
As he is getting stuff organized with the trip that he will be going on at the beginning of February, he say there are only going to be 7 of them and one is that girl. And she was telling him which hotel was the best. If you are talking to her how did you get the information from her I ask?? He said, well we talk sometime, I love talking to her and the way she treats me. What, you don't know her or even what she looks like, heck maybe she isn't even a girl? And he said, oh we talk on the game now with the microphones and she sound like a girl. We argued a little more. sorry out the butt, but is still going and really wants to be able to continue talking with her, she needs him. I said then pack your shit and move in with her and her husband.
Finally, things back to normal, so I thought and then out of the blue last night my husband wants to separate and live in the basement. Tell me all kinds of stuff that is wrong with our relationship and that he isn't good enough for me and just needs to let me go. For hours he went on and on. I had a terrible time sleeps and get up to pay the bills online and my laptop isn't on my desk. I went downstairs and guess what he is talking to that B***H on the computer!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked for the computer and he said he would bring it up to me and he has to finish. I said no, I will wait for him to get done. He said no, I will bring it up I need to finish what I am going on here. I asked are you talking to her. No, no I'm not talking to her, I promise. Just go upstairs and I will be up in a minute to talk to you. I said, you are lieing, give me the computer now! So, I go to get it and he said, hey, I have to go ~ I am log out now and hurried and hit the button before I could see. And I asked again and he said yes, he was talking to her about our problems and she told him to stay with me and work it out because she wasn't leaving her husband. So, then he changing his tune and wants to be a big happy family and for me to forget everything that has happened. I don't think I can.
I am typing this so fast I am sure I left out half of the information, but I am crying to hard to read it over to check. I just don't know what to do and I don't know if I can ever trust him again.
We are both going to take a week off from the computer and see if we can work this out. I am not sure what to do, I am so confused.
Thursday
How to Join Mommalog | eHow.com
I am so excited one of my articles on eHow just got published!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoo - hoo!
How to Join Mommalog | eHow.com
How to Join Mommalog | eHow.com
Yeah ~ It's my birthday!!!!!!!!!
So far it's been an awesome day! I had lunch with my mom and son and then we went shopping. I have to work but I am sure it will be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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